Hey
I grew up thinking being selfish meant I was not a good person and would be judged for it.
So I chose to be the opposite , I wanted to be a selfless human being and be appreciated.
And I started my pursuit towards becoming this selfless person – hoping people would look at me and say,
“Isn’t Indu the best? She bends over backward for everyone. And you can even get her to do cartwheels as she loves going the extra mile.”
“Isn’t Indu the best? She bends over backward for everyone. And you can even get her to do cartwheels as she loves going the extra mile.”
I thought being selfless meant saying yes when I wanted to say no.
So, I became the YES girl.
I would say smile through gritted teeth and say YES to everything.
Yes, of course:
- Let me entertain you, even though I’m in pain and can barely move.
- I can carry your bags and did you want me to carry you as well?
- Don’t worry about paying me – you go on that holiday.
- Let’s do what you want, yet again.
When in actuality, all I wanted to say was “I’m done catering to your nonsense.”.
As you can guess, I was not the happiest person around. Actually, I was miserable and confused.
I was being selfless and yet miserable? How could that be?
I was being selfless and yet miserable? How could that be?
Even Jesus said to ‘love your neighbour’.
I came upon this realisation during a Breaking Free taster session when Jesus reminded me that he actually said -“Love your neighbour like you love yourself.”.
And then it hit me.
I was trying to serve everyone else but ignoring me.
They only way I could truly be happy & become a selfless person was if I was kind and loving to myself first.
Only then could I be kind and loving to others.
Try the below if you suffer from saying YES when you mean NO:
These days, I only say yes if it ticks the below 2 questions & it works like magic.
1. I always ask myself – if I said yes to this, would it feel right? (I’m a visceral person) Now I only do things that feel right.
2. Am I doing this from a place of love?
What’s the point of doing things for others and then resenting them secretly?
That’s no way to live.
What’s the point of doing things for others and then resenting them secretly?
That’s no way to live.
Warning:
When you start putting your needs first – you may encounter some judgement and hate, especially from those who won’t be able to get their way with you.
Being true to yourself may mean you will not be topping the charts of the popularity contest & some may even think you’re a selfish b***h. And that’s fair game because people are entitled to their opinion.
My wish for you is that you go to bed every night with a smile on your face because you’re living a life you love & are proud of.
If you suffer from chronic people pleasing & wish you had the courage to live a life you’re proud of, you must check out the Breaking Free session, you will love it. Here is the link:
http://indualexander.com/breaking-free/
And, as always, thank you for your time and so grateful for you.
xo
Indu
Indu