5th of January 2010
Every summer, I went back home (as in my parents home In India – the only place in the world where I could go and just be a lazy bum and no one would judge me for it) and every time I hugged them before I boarded my flight back, I always said one prayer while giving them one last hug.
“God please make sure I’m able to see them again. Don’t let anything happen to them while I’m away.” No one knew I said this prayer but I did every time I said goodbye to my mom and dad.
On January 5th 2010 my phone rang at 3:30 am. I remember answering it in my sleep and then jumping up and sitting on my bed frozen – my worst nightmare was unfolding.
It was a cousin calling to say my mom was in hospital and she was very serious and to book out a flight immediately. I don’t remember much after – I was waiting for the airlines to open so I could book the first flight out. I couldn’t understand what was happening – she had gone to bed and never woke up from her sleep. How? Why?
 I kept calling home and she was still in a critical state around 9am my time and at 3pm IST, I got the call that my mom had gone.
I don’t remember much after that. Maybe I don’t want to remember it but the reason I am writing today is because exactly 8 years ago my mom passed away and gosh, I missed her so much the first few years. I was the kind of daughter who called my parents every day. And we always had so much to talk about.
My mom was so much fun – goofy, kind, elegant and so loving.  She was my biggest strength and losing her was my greatest and biggest fear coming true.
Today, as I think of my mom, I wish she did not die so soon and was here for longer.
I miss her like crazy and would give anything to have her back in the physical sense  but it’s not as painful.
For some lucky reason, I can still connect with my mom, even though I’m not a medium.
Today, I can talk of my mom with a smile and even laugh with my family at some great memories.
The beauty is she still lives on; I still see her.
In me, when I give my 14-year-old daughter no privacy and try to put on her clothes for her – just like my mom did.
In my sister’s generosity.
In the way my niece plays with her feet.
When my daughter looks at me creepily after we have watched a horror movie just to scare me like my mom did.
The reason I wanted to share this with you is because in life, sometimes bad things will happen but you should remember that no matter how painful the wound is, it will heal.
Don’t let your pain or hurt or fear get the better of you, ever.
Time heals all wounds. Even the most painful ones.
I know if you’re hurting right now, you may want to punch my face instead but don’t give into that urge. Hang in there and remember this:
One day you will be able to look back at this painful experience and maybe even smile.
I don’t know why bad things happen to good people but what I know for sure is no matter where you are in your life – God will help you overcome your biggest defeats and come out better than you could ever imagine.